As part of an article examining national identity and whether a country has brand name recognition in the United States, Aussie writer Clive James touches on the Great White.
For smaller small countries - and I mean smaller by population - it can be a continuing obsession. The clearest case is Canada, which is large in area even by comparison with the US but is short of people.
Crucially, Canada is right next to the US, and speaks the same language. Everyone knows that Mexicans are Mexicans but few of us can tell a Canadian from an American unless the Canadian is speaking French. The Canadians are forever bothered by a sense of being dominated by their famous neighbour to the south.
The Canadians try to laugh, however. There was a Canadian best-selling book recently called Coping with Back Pain. It did so well that the Americans printed their own edition. But the Americans called it Conquering Back Pain because the US is a can-do nation that conquers, it doesn't cope.
A friend of mine who told me about this had already worked out her own jokes, which I gladly borrow. The Canadian version of Julius Caesar's memoirs? I came, I saw, I coped. Get ready for She Stoops to Cope and Hail the Coping Hero Comes. But the nice thing about the Canadians is that they can come up with jokes like that at the drop of a Mountie's hat. They know they're stuck and they've learned to enjoy it.
Long-time commander of the Starship Enterprise, the Canadian-born William Shatner, one of the funniest men I ever met, is full of jokes about Canadian star-fleet admirals. Canada has been supplying stars to Hollywood for a century but everyone thinks they're American.
The best the Canadians can do is laugh about it and they always have. Finally the national sense of humour is a vital factor. National identity and a sense of humour: there are two themes trying to get together here.
The National Lampoon once (as in May 1976) produced a nastily funny issue called Foreigners, which took vicious swipes at every race and creed (I suspect it would be unpublishable today).
Of Canadians, it said:
Racial characteristics: Hard to tell a Canadian from an extremely boring regular white person unless he's dressed to go outdoors. Very little is known of the Canadian country as it is rarely visited by anyone other than the Queen and illiterate sports fishermen*. It is thought to resemble an artic Nebraska. It is reported that Canadians keep pet French people. If true, is their only interesting trait. At any rate, they are apparently able to train Frenchmen to play hockey, which is more than any European is able to do.
* The irony is that P.J. O'Rourke, who wrote this descriptor, has vacationed a fair bit in Canada, mainly to kill feathered or finned creatures.
Good points: Still have plenty of Indians to abuse.
Proper points of address: Bud, mac, mister, hey you.
The article speculated Swedes "may be slowly boring themselves to death ... In other points, they resemble Canadians, though better looking. Not that that's saying much."
There's also this entry for the English:
Racial Characteristics: Cold-blooded queers with nasty complexions and terrible teeth who once conquered half the world but still haven’t figured out central heating. They warm their beers and chill their baths and boil all their food, including bread. An intensely snobbish group, but who exactly they’re snubbing is an international mystery. Lately they’ve been getting their comeuppance world power-wise, as their shabby, antiquated, and bankrupt little back alley of a country slowly winds down like the ill-crafted clockwork playthings of which their undersized children are so fond ...
And since Mr. James is an Aussie, here's some of the entry for Australians:
Racial characteristics: Violently loud alcoholic roughnecks whose idea of fun is to throw up on your car. The national sport is breaking furniture and the average daily consumption of beer in Sydney is ten and three quarters Imperial gallons for children under the age of nine. "Making a shambles" is required study in primary schools and all Australians are bilingual, speaking both English and sheep ...
This page has links to O'Rourke's full article.