Congratulations to Syria's President Bashar Assad, who won another seven-year mandate by capturing 97 per cent of the vote!

Not only that, voter turnout is estimated at 95 per cent!

Still, Assad isn't as popular as the late, lamented Saddam Hussein, who captured 99.6 per cent of the vote in Iraq's last pre-colonial election in October 2002.

Did I mention that both Assad and Saddam were the only candidates in their respective elections?