While returning from work Saturday night, the subway made its usual stop at Yonge/Bloor.

Some guy, about 23 to 24 years old, with a straw cowboy hat, a bloody nose and a blood-alcohol level likely well above 0.08, staggered onto the car.

There was a man and a woman, probably early 30s, sitting kitty-corner to my left. They had put an exotic, fragile-looking kite down on the seat directly across from them.

Drunken Cowboy starts conversing with them, first about the kite, then starts to explain his evening.

Although he's "not gay," he would up outside some bar called The Stables, where he found someone to beat up.

"You should have heard the faggot scream. Just like a little girl," he slurred, with no small measure of self-satisfaction.

But then the fun stopped. Some other people came on the scene, and one of them hit Drunken Cowboy in the nose with a bottle.

To top it off, the poor guy's hand is sore from repeatedly punching another human being.

Drunken Cowboy said although he's from Toronto, he's lived on Vancouver Island for at least 12 years, has four kids, and was just back on business for a few days.

Now, let's sum up: This guy is in Toronto for a few days, so he just thought he'd get drunk, show up outside a gay bar and attack some stranger there, then tell other strangers on the subway that he wasn't gay?

Somebody has some issues to deal with.