SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TX—In what wildlifestyle reformation volunteers are calling a "positive step," the first group of rehabilitated Girls Gone Wild were released back into the civilized world Monday, and early signs indicate that they are adjusting smoothly, according to the director of the group responsible for their rescue.

Two Girls Gone Wild in their natural habitat, just before capture at the height of molting season.

"At first, the girls were disoriented," said Janet Ottley, director of the South Padre Island Wild Life Rescue Foundation. "They were frightened by the absence of familiar comforts such as overt male attention, binge drinking, and camcorders. But over time, we've seen improvement: so far, no reports of nipple exposure, so we're very hopeful."

The 11 girls were captured nearly one month ago during their annual spring migration to the area and then put through an intensive rehabilitation program. "They have come a very long way," Ottley said. "When we first brought them into our clinic, they could barely function beyond baring their breasts, and they communicated solely through loud, sustained hoots."

As their subspecies does every year, the Girls Gone Wild, roaming in packs, flocked to bars and clubs during the spring break migratory season. Lured by drink specials, promotional merchandise, and the chance to "go wild," they were discovered at Señor Chug Chug's, a nightspot where the girls gathered to perform a mating ritual in which brief nudity is exchanged for Jell-O shots and Smirnoff Ice trucker hats.

Rescue volunteers identified the Girls Gone Wild by their torn tank tops, threadbare Daisy Duke-style cutoff shorts, hair extension plumage, and bright orange skin with patterned lower-back markings.

From (where else but) The Onion

From an April 3 BBC story; filed under WTFF?!?!:

Officials said international and local media would not be allowed to do stories about the food situation as they did not want that subject touched.

Hunger and malnutrition are recurrent problems in Niger, which is the poorest country in the world.

For more cheery reading, try this March 30 BBC story: 'Barren future' for Africa's soil

The gist is that population pressures, the inability of farmers to afford fertilizer, deforestation, use of marginal land and poor farming practices are wrecking Africa's soil, creating the potential for even more hunger problems there in the future.

Here's BBC's in-depth page on Africa's Food Crisis.

An NYT story reports that hundreds of Chinese factories are experiencing labour shortages. While that drives wages up, that also means China becomes a higher-cost producer. And that could drive the relentless bargain-hunters of globalized business to seek cheaper workers elsewhere.

A new study came out saying the Prairie's rivers are getting over-used even as they continue to shrink in flow volume.

These rivers provide Albertans -- and Saskatchewanians and some Manitobans -- with drinking water and help the rest of us by providing the water necessary to separate oil from oilsand, our great hydrocarbon hope.