The Observer's blurb: "With Valentine's Day looming and no sign of romance in London, Will Hide brushes up his Hugh Grant impersonation and heads to New York, dating capital of the world. They'll fall at his feet. Won't they?"

An excerpt:

Well, I thought I was just being friendly but perhaps it was the slurring that put her off. I blame the 'Gin and Sin' cocktails. The cool Ava Lounge, on the top floor of the equally vibey Dream Hotel, with its uninterrupted view down onto the night-time glitz and sparkle of Times Square, was the setting, on a rainy Friday in Manhattan.

I had said hello to her, but the smile she returned was rather forced. She delved into her handbag and suddenly it struck me: here I was in the Big Apple and she was probably going to pull out a pepper spray.

Instead, she retrieved a small compact and eyed herself up in the flip-lid mirror. Gorgeous, and she knew it. Cheek bones that would cut diamonds, eyelashes you could use as a hammock, legs that went all the way up to Connecticut. Damn, and a 6ft 3in, square-jawed boyfriend heading this way with a couple of cocktails. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

At this time of year, when thoughts turn to St Valentine's Day (don't panic lads, it's not until Tuesday and anyway the BP garage will be open late), Paris and London seem to steal the romantic glory. But London is too grey and damp in February, and Parisians don't take us seriously because they just think we all live on baked beans. For me, New York is the world capital of sexy.

Over the Atlantic, they love the Brits. They don't need to know that I live above a newsagent's shop in Arsenal, that my Porsche is actually a bendy bus or that my private club is a public house with Seventies carpets. In New York, just throw in a few 'I'm terribly sorrys', or a quick 'blimey' and it's automatically assumed that you live next door to Charles and Camilla and have a 600-acre estate in Wiltshire, or at the very least are on speaking terms with Hugh Grant. A Limey accent is supposed to snap knicker elastic at 400 yards. I needed to put this theory to the test.