A what-if scenario about some tasty extras for the Borat DVD whenever it comes out (just in time for Christmas? Dare we dream?!?!)

From The New Yorker, by Glen Saunders:

Dear Ken:

Got your note, deeply honored. Being new to the company, really appreciate opportunity to outline some ideas for “Borat” DVD. As Josh mentioned, we do indeed have a wealth of footage that could be put to good use as DVD extras. In other cases, have taken liberty of suggesting some reshoots:

OPENING “VILLAGE” SECTION: How about a high-speed montage of the actual difficult, brutal lives of the villagers in Romania—the hours of debilitating toil, their oppression at the hands of their corrupt government, premature loss of teeth, death of infants, etc., etc.—culminating in a panning shot of the village on the morning of the day when they first realize they’ve been had, and that, as far as posterity goes, they will always be remembered, if remembered at all, as savages, rapists, prostitutes, etc., and they stumble out of their little sheds or whatever, looking traumatized? (Would be good if one or two could fall into depression/commit suicide as a result = confirmation of their “subhuman” status? Rich social commentary.)

ALT: The scene where the one-armed old man, many months later, weeps in his room at the memory of being tricked into wearing a sex toy on his arm. Priceless! ...

“GANGSTA” SECTION: The scene where Borat says something intentionally offensive to the inner-city black guys—where is that scene? I have been unable to find it. Here I definitely suggest a reshoot. In the attachment, I have provided a list of common racial slurs that Sacha could try out on “the brothers,” just to see what they do to him. My thought is, that seems to be the ethos of the rest of the film—i.e., Sacha saying/doing the most offensive things possible, in order to elicit a reaction—so I sense a little inconsistency here. Thoughts?

GAY PRIDE PARADE SECTION: Ditto here. Where are the gays insulted? Have noted, from perusing other sections of film, that chief targets of satire seem to be clueless middle-class whites, so a suggestion: Cull through Gay Pride footage to I.D. some clueless middle-class white gays, ask them embarrassing personal questions—e.g., Borat could quiz naïvely about details of anal sex, etc. What a riot! ...

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE: Finally, if I may be so bold, sir? Possible idea for “Borat II”: In selected redneck Midwestern location (Chicago?), as audience leaves theatre having just seen “Borat” we film them as they are sprayed with a stinging toxic foam, which drives them into paroxysms of itching, which causes them to strip naked; then we release seventy or eighty “attack dogs,” at which time we approach, asking for donations for AIDS relief in Africa. This could be classic! People would finally see, once and for all, when audience responds by swearing, etc., what hypocrites Americans really are.

Anxious to hear your thoughts.

Your intern,

Glen