Apparently some U.S. social conservatives love the March of the Penguins because it promotes family values.

I don't think so.

For one thing, emperor penguins appear to be serial monogamists. While they rut with one mate at a time, next breeding season, it's "haven't I met you somewhere before?" with a totally different bird.

Some of the incompetent fathers fumble the egg hand-off from the mother, killing an unborn penguin.

The moms make it back late from gorging themselves with fish, leaving their "beloved" chicks to starve, which to me is the moral equivalent of abandoning your kids to go on a bender with cheap gin.

Some kind of buzzard-y looking bird attacks and kills one chick while the adults stand there in their formal wear (I guess they didn't want to get dirty). How's that for parental instincts?

And finally, when the chicks appear to be the human equivalent of teens, the parents hit the road. If the parents had thumbs, they'd probably jerk them and say: "The krill's that way, kid. Have a nice life."

At least crows visit each other, but nobody talks about crows as being representative of good family values.

In the penguins' case, that saves the momma penguin from having to explain to the kid about his new "uncle."

To me, saying penguins are poster birds for family values is true only if you're comparing them to the family values evident in a Trailer Park Boys episode.