"Any suspects in the killing?" I asked the two police officers standing over the corpse.

"About 10,000 termites," one of them laughed.

The poor maple tree, which had led a peaceful life just south of Harbord St., had been ravaged by something. The tree wasn't uprooted by Sunday's crazy winds; it snapped off at the base.

I went and touched it, and the wood was completely rotten.

The cops pointed out that the larvae had bored right to the top of the tree. It was doomed.

Unfortunately, the tree damaged two cars in its death throes. May the insurance companies be kind to their owners.

A fella can dream, can't he?