On the way home from work Sunday, I perused the movie listings. To my delight, I saw that A Clockwork Orange was playing at the Bloor cinema at 9:30 p.m. I'm always up for a black-humoured, dystopian movie, so I went.

Across the aisle to my left was a young couple. They were chatting and giggling in an overly-loud voice. One fellow tried shushing them, but to no avail.

However, they did quiet down when they started canoodling, which is fine -- young people have been necking at movies since there's been movies, although I don't necessarily think of ACO as a romantic date flick.

But the one group sex and two rape scenes in the film must have stirred some urgings in them, because the next time I look, they are lying on the floor between the seats. The guy's on top, his bare ass is showing, and he's moving his hips in a motion consistent with sexual activity.

I try to mind my own business, but finally I go up and tell one of the theatre workers. "Jesus," he whistled.

I go back to my seat towards the front.  The theatre guy is standing back by the doors. I wave my arm "in a come-on-down" motion and point to where the passionate young romantics are still writhing.

He walks down, looks, purses his lips, goes to the row immediately downhill of them, walks close to the wall, then leans over the seats and flashes a flashlight beam at them several times. After he gets their attention, he waves his hand in a "you gotta go" motion.

They resignedly stagger off.

The Romeo comes back to reclaim his empties. But he then comes back a second time with some paper towel, drops to his knees, and starts wiping a particular part of the floor. "I hope that's not what I think it could be," I said inside my head.

After the movie, I chatted briefly with the employee, who said the duo were actually co-operative about leaving -- and that the girl was almost too drunk to walk.

"That's never happened here before!" he said about the couple's activities -- and did so with an embarrassed giggle.

If you're wondering, it was indeed a full moon in Toronto last night.