I was in St. Lawrence Market earlier this afternoon where I heard some 20-something woman tell her friend that she thought of Alberta as a separate country.

I shaketh my head.

This has been the most popular story at CTV.ca pretty much all day: Five-metre python eats family dog in front of kids

This is the part that really had me wondering:

Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said  ... the snake had actively stalked the dog for a number of days, and the family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it.

The family called Douglas after the dog had been killed and by the time he arrived there, he said, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.

The snake had stalked the dog for days?!?! The family sees the snake in the dog's bed?!?!?! They have young kids and a giant snake in their back yard, but they don't call anyone until after it kills and starts swallowing their dog?!?!?!?!

WTFF?!?!?!?!?!

Some telemarketer just called offering 0.000001 per cent interest if only I'd ...

I exaggerate for effect, and truth be told, I didn't hear much of the spiel.

My standard tactic for some time has been to put the phone down when the person starts talking and then go on about my business.

I continue to be amazed when I return several minutes later and they're still there. "Hello?" this particular guy asked as I picked up the phone before quietly hanging up.

My question for these guys, should we ever speak on a non-commercial basis, would be, "at one point did you realize I wasn't listening to you at all, and why didn't you hang up when you clued in?"

I sympathize with people working for a living, but I place telemarketers and traffic cops on about the same low plane of existence.

From the BBC:

A Moroccan computer engineer has been sentenced to three years in jail for setting up a Facebook profile in the name of a member of the royal family.
 
Fouad Mourtada was arrested on 5 February on suspicion of stealing the identity of Prince Moulay Rachid, younger brother of King Mohammed VI.

The Casablanca court also ordered Mr Mourtada, 26, to pay a $1,300 fine.

The prosecution had urged the court to impose a sentence which set an example for others.

Mr Mourtada was convicted of "villainous practices linked to the alleged theft of the [prince's] identity".

In his defence, he said he admired the prince, and that the Facebook entry was just intended to be a bit of fun.

I've been revisiting some old Larry Sanders Show episodes. There's one called What Have You Done For Me Lately?, in which talk show host Larry is asked by the network to do a live commercial to pimp the Garden Weasel.

It isn't going well.

Here's an exchange between Gary Shandling's character Larry and Hank Kingsley, played by the great Jeffrey Tambor:

Saw some guy at a bank ATM today. He lowered his face right down to the keyboard and then wrapped right arm around his head. He then snuck his left hand in to enter his PIN number.

So, anyone think this guy's learned a hard lesson about protecting one's PIN number at some point in his life? :^)

You have heard, no doubt, of this morning's massive fire on Queen Street West between Bathurst and Portland on the south side (there's video galore attached to this CTV.ca story).

30 people lost their homes and seven businesses have been wiped out.

While I'm sorry for everyone's loss, my personal connections was with Suspect Video.

The loss of Suspect means this city's greatest treasure trove of Takashi Miike movies and other Japanese and Korean fare is now a glop of melted plastic on a charred floor.

Suspect was defiant and uncompromising about its misfit fare. I liked being in there because it was so anti-Blockbuster. A cathedral of the unfettered human imagination, if you will.

Suspect would have gone broke in suburbia. There just aren't enought people out there who appreciate the ouvre of auteurs like Park Chan-Yook or Max Baer.

And now, with its destruction, west downtown Toronto has become incrementally more suburban (just wait until Home Depot builds a big box store just east of the fire site).

Here's hoping Suspect and the other businesses rebuild quickly and help keep downtown T.O. urban.

A classic hard country redneck anthem is Johnny Russell's version of Rednecks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer - number 347 on the top 500 country songs of all time, according to one dubious list I saw. :)

I've tried to adapt it to Toronto realities.

From the BBC:

Human Rights Watch has appealed to Saudi Arabia to halt the execution of a woman convicted of witchcraft.

In a letter to King Abdullah, the rights group described the trial and conviction of Fawza Falih as a miscarriage of justice.

The illiterate woman was detained by religious police in 2005 and allegedly beaten and forced to fingerprint a confession that she could not read.

Among her accusers was a man who alleged she made him impotent.

Human Rights Watch said that Ms Falih had exhausted all her chances of appealing against her death sentence and she could only now be saved if King Abdullah intervened.

The Pentagon said today it plans to use a missile to try and shoot down a spy satellite that's out of control and likely to re-enter the atmosphere and land on Earth.

Here's a CTV.ca feature I wrote on the issue from this past weekend.

I wonder if this is more of a real-world opportunity to test some of the U.S.'s missile-shield technology than an effort to protect the world against the ravages of hydrazine. The Pentagon says no:

The dramatic maneuver may well trigger international concerns, and U.S. officials have begun notifying other countries of the plan -- stressing that it does not signal the start of a new American anti-satellite weapons program.

Military and administration officials said the satellite is carrying fuel called hydrazine that could injure or even kill people who are near it when it hits the ground. That reason alone, they said, persuaded President Bush to order the shoot-down.

''That is the only thing that breaks it out, that is worthy of taking extraordinary measures,'' said Gen. James Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, during a Pentagon briefing.

Wanna get more? Be seen reading lots of newspapers, and all the sections within it, if a newspaper industry-sponsored survey is to be believed.