Call it the double-double defence: Would dangerous jihadists take a break from their winter training camp to warm up inside a Tim Hortons?
Defence lawyer Michael Moon raises the question in a new motion concerning the so-called Toronto 18 terror trial. Citing previously undisclosed evidence to be presented at trial, he argues that any schemes of the accused have been grossly exaggerated by informants, police and the news media – and even by the group's own ringleaders.
“In fact this hapless F-Troop, who ventured into the deathly cold of winter without a proper tent … was reduced to sleeping in the vehicles at night to prevent freezing to death,” writes Mr. Moon in a new factum. He adds they went “trooping off to the Tim Hortons multiple times a day for coffee and use of the bathroom.”
Here's an absurd, non-sequiturish thought: Maybe the secret to peace in Afghanistan is to agree to a foreign troop withdrawal on the condition that the Taliban agree to play nice with the elected government and not support global jihad.
In exchange, we'll leave behind a network of Tim Hortons shops. As this case shows, even jihadis have to go to the can and both warm and double-double up. :)
Except the evidence so far suggests some of these mildly hypothermic Timbits fiends were serious.
Addendum
I can't believe the lawyer used an F-Troop reference. Talk about dating yourself. :)
As an aside, Mike Myers used to be served by a German waiter in Ottawa who became the template for his "Dieter" character on Saturday Night Live.
Apparently this guy once told Myers: "Larry Storch is a much-maligned genius." :)
If you don't know, Larry Storch was an F-Troop star.
Ahem. I've just dated myself.